Reclaiming Confidence through Empathy and Insight
A Personal Journey from Imposter Syndrome to Authentic Leadership Through Experience and Growth
The Challenge of Confidence
As the youngest of six children – three older sisters followed by two older brothers, I often fell behind in any physical play and family conversations around what each of us learned at school despite my siblings’ best efforts to include me. There are just things a five-year-old cannot yet understand that a fifteen-year-old will. On the positive side, I participated in conversations or heard ideas on everything from quantum mechanics to the deontological ethics of Operation Desert Storm. On the negative, it set up a persistent fear that I was an imposter, feeling the pressure to exceed any expectations in an “A+ or flunk” mentality and fearing failure or public mistakes. To compensate, I sought to be the expert and trusted voice in any room.
Embracing Strategic Thinking
I began my college career immediately following high school majoring in Geomatics Engineering and minoring in Women’s Studies at the Ohio State University. What I learned during that time is that I love understanding data and sharing the story it told with others, especially where it helped them make key decisions. (I can make a weighted decision matrix and KPI dashboard for just about anything.) I leveraged the tools I learned in engineering when I joined the cost analysis team with American Electric Power’s major projects and environmental retrofits as their data analyst. The role quickly transformed, becoming a mix of budget analysis, business intelligence, strategic planning, and business operations.
Those opportunities came with the best and brightest parts of my early career: the mentors that took an interest in me. One of the most important was Leigh Anne Strahler, who is now the President and COO of Public Service Company of Oklahoma. She was a major influence in my professional development. She saw potential and challenged me to rise to the opportunities. Despite almost fifteen years since I left AEP, she continues to take an interest in my career and development.
Developing Soft Skills
While college engineering courses and AEP afforded many openings to grow my technical skills and experiential knowledge and my very left-sided thinking was suitable for working with engineers, construction managers, contractors, etc., I was not emotionally intelligent. In fact, a co-worker hung an emotions chart outside of my cubicle and would slide the indicator over the emotion to help others (and me) know what mood I was in. Thankfully, I was asked to move to Fort Wayne, Indiana, to work for a non-profit organization with a child-caring institute (residential program), foster care program, adoption program, and on- school. It was here that I learned soft skills and emotional intelligence. The communication and empathy developed here helped me become not just a leader because of my expert knowledge but a trusted advocate, mentor, and collaborator. Because of this supportive environment, I was able to return to school, completing a B.S. in Finance at Indiana University’s Fort Wayne.
Through this I learned that gentleness is strength under control. That the greatest thing we can learn is how to fail quickly, fall well, and pick ourselves back up. Success is not about always having the right answer or the right person’s ear, it’s about the resilience and perseverance it takes to keep moving, adapting to what comes. It’s about practicing gratitude for everything – including and maybe especially the hard things.
Confidence Reclaimed
What began as a quiet struggle to feel seen and capable has evolved into a confidence built on experience, mentorship, and emotional growth. I no longer chase perfection or fear failure—I embrace learning, collaboration, and the power of showing up authentically. Confidence, once something I thought had to be earned through expertise alone, is now something I carry because I know my value, trust my voice, and welcome the growth that comes from both success and missteps.
Being an active and constructive member of the community, creating space at the table for others, and knowledge sharing is now central to my career: I am no longer consumed with the degrees, job titles, or certificates to show my worth. As one young woman recently said, “We are her portfolio.” And, that means more to me.
